Soooo my cousin's condition began to deteriorate and I made a personal decision to stop going to the hospital I had to.. physically,mentally, and emotionally I was drained!..... I am sure those of you who have read the last blog know that ultimately my cousin passed away and that was the beginning of a whole new kind of pain and emotional journey it was a roller coaster!!! Let me not forget to mention that a month prior to the passing of Tashari my grandfather passed affectionately called "Pops" and 2 months after the passing of Tashari my "Uncle Derv" passed away...so in 4 months we laid 3 members of our family to rest. I guess I need not say that our world had been flipped upside down and shaken!!!.....How do you heal from this kind of tragedy? When do you start to feel better? Its soo hard for me to look at other young men that are our age..I get so angry as I watch them living their lives especially when they do so recklessly...I wanna slap them and ask them do they know how much pain they are going to leave their family and friends in?!!! Well moving forward as we are forced to do not by choice but just by the sheer make up of existence I am now looking for the light at the end of this horrifically looooooonnnnggg dark tunnel...and I think I may have found it! I think I may be approaching a time when I can make peace with all of this.....My mom has a friend who has a son who resembles my cousin soooooo much physically yes but in so many other ways his mannerisms his smile his love of music his choice in lifestyle and the list goes on and on....he is going through some changes right now and whadda you know he will be moving into my house this month and he will be living in my cousin's old room!!! I have mixed emotions naturally but I am praying that this will be the vindication of Tashari's untimely death maybe my cousin had to go soo that my family and I would be given this opportunity to aid in the rescue of this other young man. He was able to sit at a table with my family all around him and look into our faces especially that of my Aunt the mother of Tashari and see all of her pain and devastation and I am praying that maybe thru all of this something good could happen. A change for this young man for the BETTER....AMEN!
Think About This: Faith.. always have Faith and trust that something good could come out of the darkest hour..Look for it and Claim it!!!
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