That Girl to THIS GIRL!!

I dumped out my dirty laundry of false dreams and fallacies and the dirty cum stained panties from last week fell at my feet...I remember the days when you were ashamed to hold me in public..that girl that was good enough to use her hips to rock you to sleep..but when you saw her in the street she was greeted with empty stares and a look the other way...lonely love all wrapped up in cold sheets..but here is the mystery...how did that girl turn into this girl..your concubine turned queen...

Letters from a Broken Heart (part 1)

How does it feel to know that you destroyed such a blessing for a farce of pleasure..? I don’t understand what more I could have done? What more do you want? What more do you want to satisfy you’re craving, or is it just insatiable? What more can I do? What more do I have to do to be honored by you, to be respected by you. Do you know what some would give to get even a quarter of the loyalty and “love” you do? I think I realized the problem you are too comfortable you are too content you have never lost anything you truly care about!! And I pray to GOD everyday for the strength to FORGET YOU!!! I want you to experience the pain you have caused others like myself…see some may say she was smart she had your child and that way would forever have an excuse/reason to be apart of your existence…I could have been in the same scenario but I want more than to be someone’s “holding on baby mother” I want a man to LOVE me for more reasons than me being the one who carried their child, I want a MAN to see me and cherish me for all have to offer. I have never been abused and mistreated by anyone the way you have…I wish I had a magic crystal ball so that I could have seen the nightmare you really are! Think about your life… are you really happy? Are you content with yourself? It is very possibly you are and if so I am tremendously saddened for you…you don’t see it now because you are blinded by whatever temporary distraction! FORGIVE ME if I am boring you with my emotional banter… I need to go through these phases so that I can move on. I guess it is a natural part of healing.

NO WORDS..ALL THE WORDS

Dont you get it!! This is what she wanted.. the noose around your neck gets tighter..

You cant think straight because of the lack of oxygen to your head.. but try, try to see things clear, hold on to the image that you truly love and hold so dear..I know it must SUCK

You thought you had it all!! The ones you loved, the ones you cared for.. and everything was sweet..but didnt you see it was only a matter of time before it all exploded...You want to blame me which is so unfair..but I find comfort in knowing that one day you are going to wake up and realize all that ive been trying to say today...Im devastated you let it have soo much control..what would I do?..you ask..I would sacrafice, step up and lose my fear gain some courage and take only what makes me happy, makes me smile and loves me unconditionally..maybe this is all to much to ask of a simple man...I get angry and think yo myself I AM FILET MIGNON..I am the prime cut I have options, I dont have to deal with your issues and allow them to make me miserable for even a moment, but then you remember its all cause of that bullshit called "love" you remember how many days and nights you sacrificed your feelings, swallowed the foul words and choked on your tears...only to be told IT DOES NOT MATTER...I am strong and I am confident that I will eventually move on....but YOU, POOR YOU..this will be your nightmare FOREVER as long as I am here or not...I am sorry that you are stuck and dont even know it..Its ashame you are forced to reject the one you want by outside sources....NO WORDS BUT ALL THE WORDS

Think About This: Never sacrafice your happiness for anyone NOT EVEN FOR ONE SECOND..IT WILL NEVER BE WORTH IT..PROMISE

Just Maybe!!

Its been so long since I have written anything on my blog.....well there has been alot that has taken place since my last entry...but the most interesting of them all was this new theory I came up with while researching this very interesting topic called antimatter...now any person that believes they truly know me.. knows that I am a complete bookworm and science nerd...so while researching this very perplexed subject, I came to the conclusion that every single thing in life has an opposite...absolutely everything for example there is man and there is woman, there has to be both negative and positive sides to a battery in order for it to work, there is birth and there is death, and through this realization I came up with my own hypothesis as to what causes DEJA VUE...deja vue is a french phrase translated in english meaning "already seen" maybe just maybe there is some sort of opposite to the universe entirely.. like a mirror effect...so every once in a while we pick up the reverb or reflection of situations we have already seen or experienced....quite interesting in my opinion..

Think About This!

Who is your opposite..wink

Forgiveness VS Stupidity

A friend of mine came to visit to me today and as girlfriends do, we started to talk about what was going on in our lives, sharing new experiences and catching up. Like always the conversation quickly turned to relationships and the DRAMA that can come along with it...After a lengthy conversation with her I started to ponder on how we as women tend to allow MEN to do some pretty horrible things to us...I realized that I too have been guilty of this very same thing...WHY? I HAVE NOT COME UP WITH AN ANSWER FOR THAT ONE YET!!.....moving on..

FORGIVENESS is one thing and STUPIDITY is her sister they are very close and it is easy to get those lines crossed. It is okay and very necessary to FORGIVE especially our significant other but we have to be very mindful to not be STUPID!!! If he keeps doing the same thing OVER AND OVER then that is just what he is and you have to accept that and move on if whatever his behavior is makes you unhappy (this applies to MEN also) Women subject themselves to more physical, mental and emotional abuse than men...we forgive and forgive and forget and keep going back for more...SEE for me that is when it turns from FORGIVENESS TO STUPIDITY...then I ask you WOMEN who can we really blame when we are all damaged and broken.....the answer to that is.. NO ONE BUT OURSELVES

Think About This: Love YOURSELF more!!! Love yourself to the point were you are unable to tolerate anyone's abuse or mistreatment on any level....be mindful to not allow your forgiveness to turn into stupidity.....

The Disobedient Prophet

There was lesson brought to me early this morning....It was such a profound lesson that I felt a dire need to share it. It comes from the Bible and is found in 1 Kings Chapter 13.... DISOBEDIENCE is one of man's greatest pitfalls and almost guarantees our DEMISE!!! I encourage all of you who may read this to go ahead and read the parable for yourself...I will paraphrase for those of you who may not have access to a bible at the moment. There was a Man anointed and blessed by God, this man of god was sent on a mission, he was to deliver a message to a King, the message was not pleasant to the King's ears so he stretched out his hand and ordered that the man of god be arrested. The moment he did so his hand withered. The King was terrified and ask the man of god to pray for him, he did and the King's hand was restored. Some onlookers witnessed what the man of god had done and ran to tell the old prophet what they had witnessed immediately, the old prophet went after the man of god and insisted that he must join him at his home for drink and feast and was told this by an angel and that he too was a prophet just like the man of god....The issue was that the man of god was given specific instructions by God that when he was done delivering the message to the King he should not stop any where for food or drink and to be sure to take a different route home than the one he had taken to get to his destination. The old prophet lied he was told no such thing by an angel. The man of god decided to go with the seemingly genuine man, after feasting the man of god went on his way and took the way he was instructed not to, possibly because it was more convenient and he was tired from his journey. Whatever the case may have been he was given very clear instructions.....well during his journey a great lion descended upon him and killed him leaving his body in the road....the story goes on a bit more....but what I learned from this is something vital to spiritual survival...It is important to be obedient to the almighty if we ignore our creator's divine instruction we leave ourselves vulnerable and susceptible to danger...it is important that we do not allow ourselves to be influenced by outside forces that tempt us to do anything other than what we have been instructed to. Initially one might think that God killed the man of god or caused him to die...but in fact God had done a great deal to prevent this man from falling into the grips of death.

Think About This: If you know that you have been given instructions by the spirit of the almighty you would be foolish not to listen. If God tells you dont go a step further i think it would be wise to listen. Dont move a inch further even if you think it is for something good wait for his instruction. Let the ALMIGHTY order your STEPS! You will always be fruitful.

A DISOBEDIENT SPIRT CAN NOT PROSPER!

The Love Complex

It is NOT ODD for two people who love each other to argue, disagree, and get angry with each other! But I do wonder is it ODD when there is a cycle of ANGER and MAKING UP that takes place on a regular basis? My next question would have to be, what is a regular basis? For the sake of this article lets say monthly... Have you ever been so angry with the person you love the most that you felt you never wanted to see or speak to them ever again?...so enraged that you wanted to ball up your fist and punch them right in the nose...lol..!!! Your FURIOUS your HURT your even a bit SAD...and you tell him(or her) that your done, you want them to leave you alone!!!! You know that you mean it....you storm through the front door and dont look back, you are completely convinced that this is it.. YOU ARE DONE!!!....... OR ARE YOU??? Within the hour your mind begins to slow down from the rage filled pacing and you suddenly have a burning urge to hear his voice, talk things through, tell him how angry he made you....but you DON'T want to be ANGRY anymore! You want nothing more than to kiss and make up, for him to tell you he is sorry...and put the whole mess behind you...This is what I wonder, what made you say you were done in the first place?...if thats obviously not what you truly felt. What is it that causes us to say and do things we dont mean to the people we LOVE?...Is it an unconscious test for our partner, an attempt on our behalf to discover how much they really care about us. This is one that has me STUMPED! Just a little food for thought.

Think About This: CHERISH the people you love, treat them with delicacy and compassion, even when your upset...be mindful of the things you say and do..there may come a day when you can't take it back or "fix it"! Think about how devastated you would feel especially if you knew the things you had said and done are not the way you really feel!